Helping Children Through Divorce
Divorce is not an event that is easy to go through. It wounds people emotionally, especially young children. They need to have the proper help during this difficult time. They need to know and understand that it is not their fault and that both parents still love them very much.
Parents need to have their Childs best interest in mind when going through this process. That may mean covering up or putting aside any bad feelings they have for each other. The best way to go about this is to organize an arrangement that suits each of them and their children as well. This will be much less painful than having to go into court and have them decide this for you.
It is mandatory to pull it together with the spouse enough to do as little harm to the kids as possible. This is the only way to help them through this hard time. If one parent chooses to go against their agreement to help their child the responsible way, you should still keep your values as a parent and help them the best that you can.
You should not keep the divorce a secret from the children. You need to tell them when you make your decision and what is going to happen. Try to give them at least a little bit of notice before the parent moves out so that the child can have the time to get used to the new idea. Reassure the child that both parents are still going to be there for them and that nothing has changed in that sense.
Do not put blame on anyone when you are talking to your children. Do not put down the other parent in any way. It is important that the children know that they still have two dependable and trustworthy parents to take care of them. Let them know that it was a mutual decision and that you both did your best to avoid this ending.
Make your child aware that they are not going to be able to get the both of you back together. Tell them that there is nothing that they can do to make the situation dissolve. Also make it clear to them where they will live and that they can see the other parent any time they want to, if that is the situation. You can tell them that there may be some changes in that later on, but it is not going to affect their relationship with you. Give them the chance to ask any questions they may have.
Giving the child the right information and not too much information is important. You do not want them to feel anxious or worry about anything that is not their concern. They have to feel comfortable with the news that you told them and give them some time to adjust to the idea.
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